Slowing down
This week I have had the topic of time, and more importantly our free-time, on my mind. As the sun finally begins to grace us with it’s presence for more than 5 minutes at a time, a lot of the country seems to be making the most of their free time on the weekend. Understandably, the streets become busier, the parks are flooded with picnickers, and I imagine the coast has seen a spike in it’s attendees.
It’s easy to come up with ideas on what to do at the weekend when the weather is inviting. Generally speaking, as long as people are outside, they tend not to care what the activity is. A gentle stroll with the possibility of an ice cream turns it into an excellent Sunday plan despite its simplicity. An afternoon lying watching the clouds with friends and families suddenly becomes an inviting activity when the rare golden rays are here to stay. It seems as though time almost slows down in the sun, and while we are unfortunately limited in England for the days of a true summer, there is often a a distinct lack of haste or rush in the air.
Yet as we all know, when the weekend is over and another working week looms over us, time begins to slowly pick itself back up. Or rather, we speed up. That’s the funny thing about time; it’s parameters never change, but how we act within it certainly does. Of course many of our jobs are busy, our to do-lists seem unachievable, and living within a constant state of haste becomes the norm from Monday to Friday.
And herein lies the challenge for us, arguably one of the hardest in our modern society: to slow down. While it is nearly impossible to truly slow down at work (as nice as it would be, most of us would be facing a one way ticket to unemployment were we to take our job at a snail’s pace), it should not mean we save it just for the weekends. Yet many of us struggle to slow down even at the weekends, or even when the sun is shining. Our culture has been built around a constant hustle and bustle, a supreme desire for more - so much so that some of us have our gaze set on the horizon, even when our environment’s parameters come together to perfectly encourage a slowed pace.
If we are constantly on the search for more, our body and brain become trained for this persistent hunt. The result is that when an enjoyable experience comes around, we struggle to truly embrace it because our mind has been conditioned into looking for what’s next. A walk in the sun turns into a hunt for the best pub; a beer in the sun turns into organising a social event with friends; the social event turns into an insatiable desire for a wild and memorable night. While these desires and actions on their own are not an issue, they become problematic if the person instigating them is never truly happy until they have begun their search for something better.
This is where tools such as meditation and gratitude practice come into play - they encourage us to ground ourselves in the now, and withdraw our mind from the distant horizon. This reminds me of an interesting parable, although the source eludes me:
One day, a simple fisherman is sat on his boat on a still summer’s day, enjoying a cold beer with his friends. His boat is modest; it is big enough for him and a few friends, but for nothing more. He prefers to use a simple line and bait to catch his fish one at a time, although the supply in the area could allow for much more.
On the other side of the world is a rich finance consultant, who has generated an enormous wealth through many years of working. He has sacrificed a lot of his free time to reach this stage, and so he finally decides to take some time off to enjoy life and travel the world. Coincidentally, he visits the same town as the simple fisherman.
The rich consultant decides to hire a luxurious yacht that is docked at the same marina as the fisherman’s boat. He notices the sheer abundance of fish arriving from other boats, and he wonders why the simple fisherman does not follow suit. The fisherman is on his boat drinking beer with his two friends at the same time the rich consultant is about to board his yacht, and a conversation ensues:
Rich consultant: “Why do you choose such a simple boat to fish, when the supply in this area far exceeds this simple method?”
Simple fisherman: “What would you have me do instead?”
Rich consultant: “Instead of drinking beer in the sun, you could start working harder to bring in more fish. You could become successful like me.”
Simple fisherman: “And then what would you have me do?”
Rich consultant: “Well, with more fish caught, you could generate a bigger revenue. This would allow you to upgrade to a bigger boat, to allow you to catch more fish.”
Simple fisherman: “And then what would you have me do?”
Rich consultant: “If your revenue continues to grow, you could expand to buy a fleet of boats and fish outside of the bay where the supply is even greater. You could create an enormously successful business.”
Simple fisherman: “And then what would you have me do?”
Rich consultant: “If your business is successful, you could hire a group of workers to run your business and complete all of the hard work themselves, freeing you up to enjoy your time however you would like.”
Simple fisherman: “And then what would you have me do?”
Rich consultant: “You could spend each day enjoying life, doing whatever makes you happiest. What would that be?”
Simple fisherman: “Sitting on my boat, enjoying a beer with my friends.”
Hopefully the message here is clear - the rich consultant had spent many years sacrificing a great deal to reach a level of ‘success’ in his eyes, one that freed him to reap the rewards of life. He viewed the simple fisherman as someone who was the opposite of success, because he saw his relaxed demeaner as slow and lazy. In reality, the fisherman had simply realised what made him happy, and he had slowed down to truly enjoy it. Rushing forwards and desiring more for his fishing business would have inhibited his ability to do what truly made him happy.
While a desire for progress and improvement is not in itself a detriment to happiness, I would argue that letting it control and take over our life is. Slowing down and appreciating what we have, what is around us and even what we have already experienced, is a challenging skill. However, if we can master it, I believe our happiness can skyrocket as it encourages the ability to appreciate the smaller things in life.
If we were all to slow down and focus on what we have, we would realise how great we have it. We take a lot for granted - not always through greed or being spoiled, rather because we are living at such a speed that these things often go unnoticed. Focusing on the present can also improve our relationships as we become more attentive, more attuned to what is needed from us, and more aware of how we can show our love.
So while it is easy to ‘live slowly’ on a calm Sunday in the sun, watching the clouds go by as we lay on the grass, it is useful to consider how we can replicate this mindset in our ‘normal’ day-to-day. If we can learn how to live slowly and enjoy our short but sweet time on earth during the difficult days, the days where we are forced to rush at work, the days where it is rainy and gloomy, the days where we are focused on our upcoming holiday; we can become much happier, with healthier relationships and a greater zest for life.