The Dull English Language

Why we speak the worst language in the world

Trying to describe our feelings and emotions is hard. This is particularly apparent in English, arguably the dullest language in the world. We have a terrible collection of words, with few specific phrases or words that really capture how we are feeling.

I am certain that anyone reading this will have had moments where they simply cannot find the words to describe how they are feeling. This is not isolated to English speakers of course, but I wonder whether we native speakers struggle with this more than any other language. The one good example I feel we do have in our language is the term ‘butterflies’, which I’m sure we are all familiar with. “This person is giving me butterflies”, or  “I have butterflies in my stomach”. A phrase used to describe that sense of anxiety combined with excitement, perhaps laced with love and joy, but with a hint of fear. A fantastic word that perfectly describes exactly how we are feeling. If you say this to someone, they know exactly how you are feeling. 

But even the word butterflies is occupied by another meaning, to obviously describe the butterfly insect. I find it quite disheartening that our language has such a lack of specific words or phrases to describe how we are feeling. That’s why it’s so common to hear, when one is asked why they are feeling a certain way, the response of “I dunno” (don’t know for you literal folk). Or perhaps how it is common to hear “I’m not sure, I just feel weird” as a response. What a cop out. ‘Weird’ is such a bland word with so many different potential meanings. 

I don’t feel like what I’m after is too tall an ask. It’s not like I’m asking our language to have more single words to sum up our entire feelings. I’m aware that so many of our feelings are complicated, mixed with complex combinations of other feelings, and a single word is sometimes too simple to truly capture what we are feeling. But we even lack articulate phrases that would capture these feelings or emotions in a greater light. 

Take the feeling of the initial sight of a fluffy puppy, followed by the subsequent raging impulse to pick it up and squeeze it? Most of us will have felt it at some point, but there isn’t a word to describe how we are feeling. Unless of course, you are a Filipino, and then you can use the word ‘gigil’ which perfectly describes this emotion. 

Thanks to some very clever people who have put in a lot of hours researching and collating information from various languages, I am going to relay to you some of my favourite words and phrases from other languages that describe emotions we feel but do not have the opportunity to describe concisely in English. I apologise to anyone who is a native speaker of these languages in advance if I completely butcher the interpretation of their phrases, which is quite possible.

To match the theme of this book, I am going to call upon our close Danish friends to begin. “Lykke” is the word used to describe the feeling of ultimate happiness, and that everything is perfect in life. “Hygge” in short, is the notion of taking time away from the daily rush to be together with people you care about - or even by yourself - to relax and enjoy life’s quieter pleasures. How beautiful. Both of these words are large parts of Danish culture, partly because of the challenging climate in Denmark, which lends itself to a need to be protected from the harsh weather in periods of comfort, or hygge, but also because the Danes consistently rank among the happiest people in the world. Coincidence? I think not. 

Next, we take a short trip south to our German colleagues. Now, many of us may already have some pre-established thoughts on the German language. There is a common joke among the Europeans that many of the German’s words or phrases tend to be, well, rather abrupt. Despite the slightly harsh ear tones the German language can deliver, they certainly make up for it by having words for the weirdest of emotions and scenarios. “Kaffeeklatsch” is towards the tamer end of the spectrum, used to describe ‘joining with friends to gossip over coffee’. Apart from it being a brilliant word to say, wouldn’t it be nice to have a specific word dedicated to an activity that is destined to boost our mood, soul and connections with friends?

Sticking with the ‘K’ theme, “Kummerspeck” is used to describe the excess weight gained during a period of depression or grief due to eating, or what happens when you eat when you’re sad. What’s even better about this word is its rough English translation; “grief-bacon”. Absolutely fantastic. Similar to the phrase “mid-life crisis”, but not the same thing, is “Torschlusspanik”, which illustrates the feeling you get when you realise you’re suddenly getting older, and you don’t have much time left. 

Perhaps more actionable, “Backpfeifengesicht” is the term used to describe someone who has a “punchable face”; someone that is badly in need of a fist or slap to the face. I think we can all describe someone with a backpfeifengesicht. Moving on to potentially a less useful phrase with regard to accurate recording, “Dreikäsehoch” loosely translates to “three-cheese high”, or the height of three wheels of cheese stacked on top of each other. Often used to refer to a child who’s very small. And finally, “Treppenwitz” is used to describe the feeling of going toe to toe with someone in an argument, and struggling to think of an exquisite come-back to one of their retorts, only to then think of something perfect a few hours later. What a fantastic term, and describes something that takes some time to explain properly. 

I could go on and on about German phrases, but there are many other languages worthy of a mention. It will come as no surprise that the Italians are among the elite languages when it comes to describing anything to do with love. “Cavoli riscaldati”, while perhaps something we want to avoid, refers to the attempt to restart a failed relationship. Another phrase that is even better when it is translated into English: reheated cabbage. Perhaps best to leave your relationship in the past if it resembles reheated cabbage. 

In a trip to the obscure, the dying language of Yaghan, a small indigenous community not far from Ushuaia in Argentina, has the phrase “mamihlapinatapai”, which is extremely difficult to translate. Loosely, it describes “a look without words that is shared by two people who want to initiate something, but that neither will start”. While it is worth considering this is just one interpretation of the phrase, its beauty is held nonetheless. “Koi no yokan” is Japanese for the sense that you could fall in love with a person you only just met. Yet it is not the same as “Hitomebore” - which describes pure love at first sight - rather it is the feeling that a crush or love will come, but it is not there yet. 

We certainly could learn a thing or two about these other languages. I fully recommend spending some time further reading into this area to really understand what we are missing out on. But a phrase we might not want to jump to include in our language too suddenly is the Hungarian term “házisárkány” - an ill-tempered, nagging and constantly dissatisfied housewife, or “domestic dragon”. Yeah… I’d stick to Hitomebore if I were you.

Overall, this is a miniscule insight into what we are missing out on in the English language. We may lack the right phrases or words to really capture how we are feeling, but it shouldn’t mean that we don’t try. If you can picture someone in your mind who brings or ignites certain feelings inside of you, do not be deterred from saying them because of our poor language. Speak your heart, even if the words are messy.