When I write the phrase ‘treat me like a kid’, I imagine most of us you may have a rough idea of what I mean.
You may talk to me in simple sentences composed of positive feelings and an overarching bubbly context. There may be a few references to dinosaurs, the possibility of nap time, or the looming naughty step (should things turn really bad).
But in this context, I’m not necessarily referring to the specifics of how we speak to children, rather the overall attitude.
At some point, we ‘grow up’. I don’t really know when this happens, it just does. Perhaps it’s through puberty, or our first solo outing, or finishing school. Perhaps it’s when we first get a partner, get a job, or our first taste of alcohol.
Along the way, we change how we speak, think and act to one another. There are fewer references to dinosaurs, significantly less nap times, and rarely are we confined to the naughty step. The sentences we speak and have delivered to us become increasingly more complex, and they begin to be laced with notions of work, money and ugh-Mondays.
We spend less time in the sand-pit, and more time on public transport. Less time wearing bibs, and more time caring about what clothes we wear. Less time following our instinct, and more time following social-norms. We spend less time thinking to ourselves about the wonders of a new environment, and more time on the worries and concerns of the cost of living. We spend less time being open to the world and all of it’s wonders, and more time being cynical and scrutinous.
But this is not news to you. You are grown up. You own a portable reading device. Unless you are a very talented baby that makes up one seventh of my readers, in which case I offer you a warm welcome to the newsletter. Predominantly, you are aware of the distinctions between a child and an adult. So much so, that you do not need to spend a single second thinking about these distinctions. You were a child, and now you are an adult. There is no going back.
But, why not?
I’m sure we can all recall a wonderful memory from our childhood. Being a kid made up some of the best times of my life. And while my memory of some of the specific ins and outs of my childhood slowly fades, there remains many solid positive memories and emotions.
And here is where I pose my question to you - why do we, at some point in this journey to adulthood, drop the attitude we share towards children? Why do we tell children that it’s ok to make mistakes, because life is all about growing and learning, yet when we reach ‘adulthood’, a mistake is suddenly a terrible occurrence that must be scrutinised by our boss? Why do we encourage our children to learn and explore the world, in order to develop their knowledge and understanding, but we confine ourselves to living only for the weekend as an escape from work?
Why do our parents and significant family members spend so much effort to congratulate us on our the mere participation awards we receive at school, but we’re not interested in any achievement that isn’t starting your own business, excelling at your job or juggling five hobbies at once? We literally applaud children for just going to school, but belittle ourselves for not achieving greatness with each day.
Why do we focus on capturing the moments of pure laughter and joy experienced by a child at the simple slurp of a glass of milk, but anyone acting ‘silly’ must be on drugs?’ Why is the prospect of going to the beach at the weekend only discussed on the very day of the event as a kid, but we are obsessed with pre-planning our entire year with must-do social activities as adults?
Why are we encouraged to jump in puddles and get messy as a child, but any adult who dares to do this in public is ridiculed and labelled as a “weirdo”? Why do we encourage and facilitate being inquisitive as a child, but questioning why things work as an adult is branded as ‘being difficult’ - and we are told to just get on with it?
Why do the adults in our life encourage us to feel the texture of grass in summer, to watch the clouds go by, to enjoy the ducks eating their bread, to play hide and seek - but our adult lives themselves are spent focusing on ‘what’s next?’ and constantly striving for more?
Perhaps it’s the way our society is built. It seems that we believe we have to spend time being an ‘adult’ to allow for this space for children to grow. Yet when we are a kid, our adults have no problem acting silly with us. They have no issue jumping in the puddles with us, in watching the clouds go by, in enjoying the simplicity of feeding the ducks. Because they are doing it alongside you. But as soon as you, the kid, is out of the picture - any of these activities would be thought of as bizarre.
We are taught as children to be kind, to be polite, to take care of our belongings because money doesn’t grow on trees. We are taught it’s ok to make mistakes, to not get everything right the first time. We are taught to have fun, to enjoy what makes us giggle. We learn to enjoy life in it’s simplest forms.
But all of this gets lost somewhere along the way. Socialising changes. We are filtered through the education system, and the focus is gradually switched from exploring everything and anything that life has to offer, towards fitting a specific norm that has been pre-established for us based on our upbringing.
Yet it doesn’t have to be like this.
So start behaving towards me like I’m a kid. Tell me it’s ok to mistakes. Join me in watching the clouds go by, in feeding the ducks, in simply just enjoying the moment. Help me question the rules of the world and understand more of what their is to learn. Laugh with me as I blow bubbles in a glass of milk. Treat me how you would like to be treated yourself, and I will return it with all of the kindness in my heart because that’s just what you do. Dance with me to the sound of the microwave and host a bum-wiggling contest.
Congratulate me for just turning up to work. Celebrate even the smallest wins, and act like I’ve just won the Nobel prize to boost my confidence. Join me in telling the lady next to me that I like her jumper and it looks comfy, simply to try and make her smile. Share the love and appreciation I have like it’s Christmas day when a significant family member simply returns home from work.
Encourage me to look after my possessions, because they hold value and will last longer if treated with care. Make plans with me on the day and think not of the logistics. Lay next to me on the grass outside because being outdoors is good for us. Revel with me in the awesomeness of a giant stick because is it’s a giant stick. A second giant stick must lead to a mandatory lightsabre duel between us and there is no alternative.
If being a kid is all about exploring the world, about enjoying the moment, about finding joy in simplicity; if it is about growing and developing, about being encouraged to make mistakes and about watching the clouds go by; then I want to be a kid forever.
There is nothing stopping us from reverting back to our childish ways. Our lives are geared towards being an adult, but being an adult sucks.
So let’s be kids.