Won't you regret that when you're older?
Recently, I finally decided to get myself a tattoo, or 2 to be exact. They are only small, and I am certainly not turning into a full-body-covered tattoo aficionado any time soon, but I was really happy I made the plunge. It had been something I'd wanted to do for quite some time, but never quite had the guts to go through with it. I was always held back by thoughts of “forever” and what other people would think of it, and ultimately, what they would think of me.
However, I have done a lot of growing as a person over the last few years, and so now I have an established set of confidence and stability that allows me to not worry about these things. I have successfully dropped my role as a 24/7 people pleaser, which made getting a tattoo a lot easier for me.
I have been thinking this week about some of the common phrases that fall out of people's mouths when they see someone else with a tattoo (often without being asked what their opinion is in the first place). Of these, the classic line of “Won't you regret that when you're older?” is the most notable for me. I have spent a lot of time thinking about this phrase and it's implications, and truthfully, I don't really understand it.
Outside of a tattoo being an example of the artist's skill, and potentially holding personal value to the holder (again, I am no aficionado), a tattoo at it’s core is an expression of what that person wanted, potentially what they felt represented who they were/are, and ultimately a mark of their personality at that specific moment in time. Now, I don't think tattoos are always as meaningful as those points above - sometimes people get them just because they like them, and that's it. They don't necessarily think about the 'deeper levels' to a tattoo, partly because there is absolutely no need to. They like the design, they get the tattoo.
But, regardless of the holder's underlying motivations, a tattoo is a sign that at some point in their life, this person has decided a tattoo is something they want. It is a sign that they have decided to put their hard earned money towards the action, and that they have gone against barriers or thoughts of restriction (usually from the opinion of others, whether that is a employer, colleague, family or friends) to get the tattoo.
This is where I think the flaws of the rebuttal of “Won’t you regret that when you're older?” come in. Why would I regret a sign that expresses who I was at that age? Why would I regret a representation of my active choices, particularly against potential barriers? Why would I regret doing something I wanted to do, arguably highlighting my ability to 'live' my life and not be restricted by worries of the future?
Yes, there is a chance I may not be someone who wants to get anymore tattoos in 40 years time. I may be someone that feels tattoos do not suit me anymore in 40 years time. But, that is what happens with life. Of course we are going to grow and change as people. Are you the same person you were when you were 6 years old? Do you regret having a borderline psychotic love for dinosaurs at that age? Do you regret the decision to go against your parents advice and eat food off the floor? What about regretting having that best friend in your early school days that you now no longer speak to?
Of course you don't, because these actions and decisions were a sign of who you were at that time. The strawman argument here is that these actions did not leave lasting imprints on your skin, thus it is easier for them to be forgotten, and do not hold as much significance. Yet arguably, a lot of these smaller moments have accrued and shaped you into the person you are today. They therefore have had a lasting impact on you - you just can't see it imprinted on your skin.
Ultimately, my point here is that we should never regret any of our actions completed in the past if they were what we wanted at the time. This applies to not only tattoos but relationships, career decisions, large life choices and so on. Yes, spending £500 on a pair of trainers when you are already in credit card debt is not a wise decision, despite what you wanted at the time. This is arguably a regrettable action. But, this overarching point applies to actions and decisions that hold personal value to you at the time, whereas an unwise purchase of trainers is unlikely to hold any significant meaning to you.
Overall, whether the decision causes a physical imprint on your skin or not, whether it changes how you live your life or not - we should never regret the actions that have been backed by our thoughts and meaning at the time, even if they do change as we grow as people.
At the end of the day, I would be far more upset with the question of “Don't you regret not doing that?” on my death bed than one directed at the regret of the actions I did follow through with. To match the complex and slightly morbid but ultimately powerful views of optimistic nihilism; we are all going to be dead and long forgotten by the universe at some point. My body will fade away into the Earth whether it has tattoos on it or not - so I would much rather it faded away knowing I lived my life and followed through with the choices that held meaning to me, rather than tiptoeing around thoughts of future regret placed onto me by others.